And I'm laying in the middle of the snow next to my brother.

Both of us got our pajamas on and my mama says, y'all gotta go to school.

School.

Hello?

Hello.

Even better.

Okay, So.

When I was a kid, My parents moved us to the middle of nowhere and to this dilapidated falling down sideways would blow over in a strong storm, single-wide mobile home, middle of nowhere in Michigan.

And that's cool.

They were doing the best they could, doing the best they could, but, but I still had to go to school.

It was gonna be tough anyway.

Only black family from miles away.

It was gonna be tough, but we made it easy for 'em.

School bus pulls up, right?

School bus pulls up, get on the bus.

First day they got songs.

Negro Who?

Negro.

What's the matter with your house though?

Negro?

I hope it don't snow.

Or the other line was, where does the rain go?

And every single day.

Every single day.

And I come home in a ball and my mom's just like, what's the matter?

What's the matter?

And I can't tell my mom.

I know she's doing the best she can.

I can't tell her.

Nothing's matter.

Nothing's matter.

She can tell anyway.

She feels it.

But that's the way it is.

And then that summer, I don't know how they do it.

They stretch the credit, save the pennies.

Moms comes to us one day and said, Hey, it's moving day.

Moving day.

Where we going?

They don't tell us nothing.

We're kids.

Just get in the car.

Get in the car and pull up to our 88 acres of prime Michigan swamp land.

But there on the hill, gleaning in the noonday sun is a brand new double-wide trailer.

What?

What?

Double wide.

A double wide trailer still wrapped in the plastic.

You got to be kidding me.

This is moving y'all Bay Area don't know nothing.

This is moving on up.

This is moving on up to the big time.

Right?

I we, and I know, I know.

We can't ask for nothing.

No shoes, no presents for years.

I don't care.

We are moving up, right?

So then, then school starts up again.

School bus pulls up this time.

What?

Get on the school bus.

Everybody get, but they wanna sing.

But what?

Huh?

Huh?

What you gotta say.

That's right.

Double wide tricks.

They understand your behind out the way.

Call me Glynn Double wide Washington.

Sitting down, chilling double wide.

So that's how it goes every day.

We got the shag carpeting, we got the wood paneling, we got the toilets that work.

We got heat that comes on.

Fantastic.

The Michigan too, because of when we say winter is coming, this is not a fantasy novel.

You put the, the hay bales around the place, keep it for insulation, right?

Everything's cool.

So winter comes, I don't care.

I'm in my double wide hot.

I'm drinking hot chocolate, watching the snowfall outside.

I don't care.

Watch the Chitty Chitty Bang Bang.

Right?

One day I get up in the morning to go to school, go to the bathroom to wash my face, and the water doesn't come on.

Huh?

What's going on?

Little brother comes in, he's like, don't worry, don't worry.

Dad's gone to work already.

But mom's, she's on the case.

What you mean on the case?

Well, she got the torch.

The what?

The, the pipe froze.

She's underneath the house unthawing the pipes.

Okay.

All right.

And I don't wanna say anything.

I don't wanna say nothing about it, but I feel like I gotta say something.

As the older brother, Hey, hey, hey.

You smell smoke?

Welcome to Snap Judgment Unplugged for the first time ever.

This is fantastic.

I want to thank KQED for having me.

I want to thank all the Snappers and all the Spooksters being here right now.

Y'all are the best people in the world.

I appreciate you being here.

This is the first time we're doing this with no net, no music, no nothing.

I just get to tell you stories.

And I gotta tell you again, I want to thank KQED.

Ryan Davis is running around here.

I think he might have heard from Michael Isip earlier from the whole Snap family we thank you for supporting this show.

And back in the story.

Now I run outside with my little brother and I see it this orange flickering from out underneath our trailer home.

And my mom's screaming, boys, boys, boys.

And we want to run inside to get some water.

But the pipes are frozen.

And I see this black cloud coming underneath there.

We gotta get this out.

We gotta get this out.

And we just start putting snow on it and dirt and everything that we can.

But this orange is getting brighter and brighter.

Orange and red and black is, I got my mom from out underneath the underneath it.

And she's trying to help us shovel stuff as well.

And there's nothing going on.

And we are losing.

We are losing.

And we're trying everything we can.

But my fingernails have busted off trying to grab snow and dirt and throw at this thing.

And we're screaming.

My mother's screaming.

My brother's screaming.

And is that kid super hearing?

And I leave running the house.

My mother, where you going?

Where you going?

I run into the house because I hear it.

The fire has unthawed the water pipes.

And I hear a faucet and I run inside and start filling up flower jars and buckets and everything we can.

And we're throwing this at it.

We're throwing it out, throwing it at it.

And finally, finally in the middle of this crazy blizzard outside, finally the black smoke turns to black steam.

And we all, three of us in the middle of this snowstorm outside are laying on the ground huffing.

I can't believe how close a thing this was.

And I'm laying in the middle of the snow next to my brother.

Both of us got our pajamas on.

And my mama says, y'all gotta go to school.

School.

What?

And she scurries us in the house.

We got just a couple.

Ain't no time for no shower, ain't no time for nothing.

We scramble.

We barely get, make the bus.

And we get on the bus.

I sit on the bus and the dude Charles, he said, what happened to you?

Nothing.

Look down.

I got two different shoes on.

My hair is crazy.

But he ain't even looking at me.

He pointing out the window and I see a house.

Huge black mark.

Looks like the front part of the house is melted.

Ha.

That ain't nothing, nothing going on.

It took three days to the number one hit at the school.

Came back for the second version.

Negro.

Who?

Negro.

What's the matter with your house though?

Negro.

Y'all burnt it down though.

Oh, and a few days to that.

And I get back and my mom again, she sees I'm deflated.

What's the matter, baby?

It's gonna be out.

We gonna fix it.

We gonna get it fixed.

Don't worry.

Don't you worry.

And I know she wants to tell me the truth.

I know she does.

They bother you with school, baby.

Don't you worry, we gonna get it fixed.

Nah, mama.

They didn't even notice.

Now my mother, woman of great faith, she speaks to her Jesus.

Her Jesus tells her it's time for us to move.

Again.

This time we moved to the city, the big city, huge city teeming metropolis of Mount Pleasant, Michigan.

We're out there.

And I dig it because out in Mount Pleasant they got this baseball team.

It's got tryouts.

I go to the little tryouts and I catch this ball right before it goes over the, to be a home run.

And the coach says, yo, Washington, you're on the team.

What?

I'm gonna be on the team, gonna have me a team.

Coach said, Hey, if you get to practice on time, first day you gonna get we'll get you a jersey.

Get your jersey.

Gonna have your name on it.

You gotta keep it clean.

I'm gonna keep mine clean, spotless for my home runs.

And I'm excited about.

I can't believe I'm gonna be on a team with the fellas.

It's gonna be fantastic.

And you know, so I get my cousin's glove.

I don't got no cleats, no ball or nothing like that yet.

But I'm gonna be, and I get into the car to go get my jersey.

And I get into it with all the faith.

Now you, I'm saying, why you getting in the car without the faith?

My mama said, her pastor said, you got to believe in something.

You gotta believe it first.

And then it becomes reality.

You gotta believe in the Lord.

And I'm believing, I'm believing.

I get in the car, I'm believing 'cause that car's got problems.

But I got that faith, right?

I get in the car, sit down like, ain't no problem.

Ain't no problem in the world.

We're gonna go get that jersey.

Go play baseball, right?

My mama, she gets in too.

She gets in the corner, front seat, puts her bag down to the side, smiles back at me, nod I, I nod back, back at her.

You're gonna go play baseball.

She takes out a key, puts it in the ignition, and turns- nothing.

She takes it back out again.

Turns- nothing.

She takes a deep breath, she sticks it back in, turns.

And this time doesn't even make a sound.

And I'm just like, no, no, no, no, no.

And we sit there.

She didn't say nothing to me.

I don't say anything to her.

We just sit in the car until finally she opens the door and leaves.

And I can't believe this.

There's got to be a plan B. Why?

Why?

Why do poor people always gotta have faith when rich people use money.

And she's, I can't.

I can't.

I'm, I just wanna play baseball.

And she walks to the front of the car, puts her hands on the car, bows her head, and starts praying, healing over it.

Oh woman, I'm, I'm embarrassed for her.

I'm embarrassed for myself watching my mother mild prayers over this Dodge Caravan station wagon that should have been in a junkyard several years previous.

But she does this, she does this.

And she's wearing that smile.

I don't know if y'all know the smile of faithful.

That smile where it's going to be all right.

I have faith.

My faith can move mountains.

I don't know it well 'cause I don't have it.

But that's what she does.

She wears that.

And then she gets back in the car and I'm still in the back seat.

And she takes that key for a second.

She takes a second, she does take a second.

I see her kind of through that swallow.

She puts that key in.

And you gotta understand for the believers, you can't start celebrating.

You can't start getting happy.

'cause you already knew this was going to happen.

You already had the faith in the first place.

You can't just all of a sudden get happy.

She pulls out.

Ain't no grinning, ain't no clapping, pulls out into the street.

But when I see her eyes in that rear view mirror, she's shining.

Now I go to my mama's church.

Some of you might have heard about my mama's church, but my mama's church sitting there.

And this day, mama's church, there's a buzz in the air.

There's a buzz.

The, somebody starts flickering the lights.

Everybody rushes to go sit down.

They heard the rumors, they heard the stuff was going on.

Something's going on.

Something's about to happen.

Something special.

My mother is wearing a red dress.

She looked fantastic.

I know she's heard something too.

She don't say nothing to me about it.

But we sit down and our pastor comes out and he said, brethren, this is a big day.

This is a special day.

'cause today, brethren, I would like to introduce on this stage, the Pastor General of the Worldwide Church of God, God's one and only apostle, Mr.

Herbert W. Armstrong.

And this old man comes up and we lose our minds.

What?

Herbert W. Armstrong, this is our pastor, founder, the, the last true connection to Jesus.

And again, in our church, we don't clap, we don't care.

We lose our mind.

We clapping and he's like The brethren, brethren, brethren, and no, we, we gotta clap some more.

We losing it, right?

We losing it.

Brethren, I greet you in the name of the world tomorrow, and I bring big news, big tidings, brethren, Jesus will return.

Brethren.

I don't think you understand what I'm saying.

I don't mean he's gonna return someday.

I mean, he's on his way now.

And if you ain't right with Jesus, he ain't gonna be right with you.

That's right.

Brethren, this world is going to boil in a tribulation fire.

And only the select few chosen ones are going to make it to the place of safety.

Look around.

Some of you ain't going to be there.

Some of you ain't gonna be there.

Some of you ain't gonna make it.

But I'm thinking, nah, no, no, no, no.

These white folks ain't leaving me.

I'm going to a place of safety.

Right?

And the the chatter is a buzz that night.

People in our church are getting ready.

Someone tells my mama that the family, they're sleeping with their shoes on.

So to be ready to get up when Jesus shows up and people think that's a good idea.

'cause Herbert W. Armstrong said that he's gonna find a place of safety for when the tribulation comes.

So you better be ready, right?

We gotta be ready to go any minute.

Ready to leave.

I go to school.

Buddy Danny Walters, he asked me to borrow a pencil.

I said, yeah, you can have all these pencils.

In fact, you know what, you've really been a good friend to me and I wanna preach.

Thank you for that.

What, you moving?

Yeah.

Where are you moving?

I don't know.

You guys are so weird.

Anyway, can you come to the house today for, for for dinner?

My mom wants to see you and I gotta get right with the Lord and everything like that.

But Danny has a pool and his moms like to these, this, this pasta with these meatballs and it's awesome.

Always bringing us cookies and stuff.

And his brother's there.

And I was like, well, you know, I can go for a little bit, but then I gotta, you know, get right with Jesus.

So we go to Danny's place and we're playing.

We're throwing coins in the pool, having a good old time.

And his mom comes out.

She's correct with the milk, the cookies.

Little ice cream.

Little ice cream for us.

'cause she said, I know you like this.

Mrs.

Walter's always so good to me, talking about can you stay for dinner?

Yeah, I can stay.

Maybe I can.

I'm not supposed to stay.

But I heard y'all got the meatballs going on tonight.

And, and then I realized I gotta get back.

He said, what you, we just getting started.

And I was like, Mrs.

Walters, you've always been real good to me.

And Mr.

Walters been good to me.

And I'm really sorry about this.

I don't have no, no discretion about this myself.

I wouldn't leave y'all behind if it was just for me to decide.

But y'all been good to me the whole time.

You don't have to.

'cause I'm a little black kid and I'm really sorry about it, but I gotta go now.

What's wrong with him?

He's been acting like that all day.

I ride my bike back to my spot, to our apartment, check the mail.

And there it is: a note, a letter.

Should I say golden envelope from the headquarters church from Pastor Herbert W. Armstrong from Pasadena, California with the seal, the official seal.

And I hold it like new form newfound scripture.

I bring it upstairs where my mother is washing dishes.

She's got these yellow dishwashing gloves.

And I show it to her.

And she nods.

She takes the dishwashing gloves off.

She gets her reading glasses out.

She sets down properly in the chair.

She takes the seal off, unfolds the letter, and begins to read.

She doesn't stop me from reading behind her.

Brethren the name of the chosen.

I wanted to let you know that I am now in Jordan meeting with King Hussein.

And we are looking over the caves of Petra as a potential spot for our place of safety during the upcoming tribulation.

Brethren, now more than ever, your tithes and offerings are necessary to spread this good work before it is too late.

Please be ever vigilant.

Yours truly in Christ Jesus.

Herbert W. Armstrong.

My mama, mama.

I doesn't say nothing, but I got something to say.

What's a Petra?

What's a a cave?

I ain't trying to move no cave and no Petra and no Jordan with no King Hussein.

What?

Leave all my friends behind and burn up.

What?

My ma mama mama, we going to Jordan?

The Petra, mama?

My mother.

She takes the, the note and she folds it and then she, she folds it again and then she drops it in a waste basket.

Nah, baby, we ain't going to Petra.

Get ready for dinner.

We're having meatballs.

No.

Now we, in high school, this was strange.

My house was always bedlam, always crazy.

There's all kinds of people running around crazy in my house.

And I get home one day and it's weird, right?

Strange because there's no bedlam, there's none of that going on.

Nobody is doing anything.

The house is quiet.

I'm like, what?

I go downstairs and I see my brother in the room.

We share in a bottom bunk, sleeping, taking a nap.

Like he'd had a long hard day and he was sleepy, tired.

And do I as his big brother let him sleep?

You know, you know better than that.

Y'all know there's big brothers in here.

I get this is the perfect chance.

It's the per put all my theories to work all my theories.

I got theories.

I get right in front of him as he sleeps.

I'm right in his face.

He's sleeping right there.

Wake up.

Boom.

Okay.

His head on the, on the, on the bed and he's angry.

What are you doing?

What are you doing?

Wake up.

Jesus came back.

Jesus returned.

Huh?

Mom and dad are gone.

They, Jesus said, you gotta go meet him at 7-Eleven.

What?

You go meet him.

We don't have time to discuss it.

You gotta go and meet Jesus right away.

Quick hurry.

I wanna meet you there in a minute.

We go there.

Yeah, we get to 7-Eleven.

Hurry quick.

My brothers upstairs.

Top speed gets on his bicycle and pedals away.

I make a snack.

Peanut butter and jelly.

Moms comes back, my little sister cooking dinner, stuff like that.

Get to ask him, where's your brother at?

I'm my brother's keeper?

We start eating dinner.

Midway through he comes in, furious, angry.

I was like, where are you?

You supposed to be coming, ah, late for dinner.

Now he kind of grumbles something.

Mumbles something.

He can't really say nothing.

'cause he's not a snitch.

But I know I can hear him plot his revenge.

Right?

And off he goes.

He's, and I think, I think about my brother, I think about him often going to 7-Eleven under the bright fluorescent light, standing next to the Slurpees, the Big Gulp machine.

Can't get no Skittles, no Now and Laters, knowing that the world is about to end, hoping against hope that Jesus does not forget you.

Jesus stops by to pick you up before the world goes combustible.

I think about this kid waiting there, hoping, hoping, hoping, hoping.

And I laugh myself, wretched.

'cause it's the funniest thing I've ever heard.

It's wrong.

It's wrong, right?

It's wrong.

It's wrong.

The, I'm gonna fast forward.

I'm gonna, I'm gonna tell you one last story.

I'm gonna, I was, I spent my late teens, early twenties, basically as an itinerant person going around the world, sleeping on couches and stuff.

I was just, I was, I went all over the place and I was mostly broke.

And the, the one luxury I allowed myself was books, right?

Loved books from the time I was little.

And I would get, I remember going to a, a, a flea market in Taiwan and getting this book on acupuncture.

I got a book in braille.

I, I can see fine.

But it was cool.

It was like really, really cool book.

And I got all these books.

And what I would do with them is I would send them back to my mama's place, send 'em back home because I was building.

I thought I was, I, I thought of 'em as notes to an older me that someday I'm gonna have a library.

A library that kind of is a memory palace.

And I'm gonna be able to share them with my kids that I have someday.

And their kids we're gonna go over these books that I love.

I'm gonna explain to them why I love these books.

So that's what I did.

Books, after book after book.

I sent them back to my mama's place.

And I was somewhere, I was minding my business.

I was eating an apple.

Eating an apple.

And I got a call from my mother.

Son.

Boy, I just want to touch base with you for a minute.

Son, me and the ladies, we got to divining.

And I hear this clapping and singing in the divining.

That's why we got to divine.

'cause we felt the presence of the devil of Satan himself walking on my clean kitchen floor.

And he was wandering around my cabinets.

Of course he was.

And I, I, we tracked him, son.

We tracked him down the, down the hallway, down the stairs.

Really?

And the trail stop son.

You know where the trail stop?

Where'd it stop mama?

Right in front of your books.

Mother, mama.

And right on the top pile of your books.

Do you know what I find?

Son?

Mama?

I find a book called Satanic Verses.

Mom, that book ain't what I know what the verses of Satan are boy.

How you gonna have Satan's verses up in my house?

Mama?

I'm going to burn all these books.

Mother, mother, mother, mother, mother, mama, mama, mama.

Do not burn those books.

I'm burning them off.

Take Satanic Verses, take it, burn it.

I don't even like that book, but just be the rest of 'em alone.

Nope.

They all got the same taint and they all got to go into the fire.

Mother do not burn my books.

I just thought I'd let you know.

Mama click, I call her back.

Ma, no, she won't pick up ma.

I call her back.

I call her back.

I call her back again and again and again and again and again and again.

Three days I call my mama 150 times.

She don't pick up till she calls me.

And she couldn't have done it.

No, she could not have done it.

No way.

No way, no way.

She says, Hey son.

And I want to ask her, mama, mama, did you do it?

Mama did you do that to me?

And then I think why ask a question you already know the answer to.

How you doing, son?

I'm fine Mama.

How are you?

Thank you so very much for coming out here today.

Thank you for joining KQED Fest.

And thank you for listening to Snap and Spooked.

It means more than you'll ever know.

Appreciate it.