
SCETV Safe Space 2024: Building Healthy Relationships
Special | 56m 46sVideo has Closed Captions
Addressing the importance of positive peer relationships.
Addressing the importance of positive peer relationships and how to identify and approach unhealthy relationships. A relationship is a connection, association, or bond between two or more individuals characterized by emotional, social, or intimate interactions.
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SCETV Safe Space 2024: Building Healthy Relationships
Special | 56m 46sVideo has Closed Captions
Addressing the importance of positive peer relationships and how to identify and approach unhealthy relationships. A relationship is a connection, association, or bond between two or more individuals characterized by emotional, social, or intimate interactions.
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I'm Brittany Brackett on the beautiful campus of the South Carolina Governor's School for the Arts and Humanities.
Today, we're talking about building healthy relationships.
♪ opening music ♪ ♪ We're here in Greenville on the beautiful campus of the South Carolina Governor School for the Arts and Humanities to discuss the issues of mental health facing our youth.
Our discussion today centers on building healthy relationships.
Relationships come in many forms familial, romantic, platonic and professional.
However, when these relationships have a toxic dynamic, they can have a lasting negative effect on the well-being of our youth.
Teens in negative relationships are more likely to suffer from mental and physical health problems such as depression, anxiety, self-harm, suicidal ideation, drug and alcohol use and violence.
Toxic relationships can also lower their confidence, increase their stress and anxiety, and affect their social life and education.
Today, we'll hear from the students, administrators and mental health professionals as they share their experiences and insights on the importance of recognizing and seeking healthy relationships.
Let's get right into the visitors we have on our panel.
Mr. Cameron Pratt is the assistant principal of Easley High School.
Hello there.
We also have Miss Rue Pinto, senior musician and violinist, as well as Tyler Russell, who's a senior vocalist.
We also have Jordion Slater, who's a vocalist here.
And then we have Tiffany Prasertkul who's the director of behavioral health.
And we have Sabrina Michelle Francis, who is a senior drama student here at the South Carolina Governor's School for the Arts and Humanities.
So as we dive right in, I want to know why mental health is so important to any of you.
You can jump in.
But why is this such a prevalent topic these days?
I'll go ahead.
So in the last three years, I've been at three different schools for three different types of backgrounds.
I was at Chapman High School as a teacher, Berea Middle School here in Greenville County, and then Easley High School in Pickens County.
And I've seen the effects of mental health with positive change and some of the negative ramifications that come from students who are struggling with that and, you know, being able to seek that help, it's important for students to know what's out there.
It's important for people to know what options they are and that there's a positive outcome if you seek help.
So, crucial.
<Brittney Brackett> I agree.
And you know, there used to be this stigma attached to the discussion of mental health and, you know, ooh, that's not something we talk about in groups or in our peer settings, but, I would love for you, Ms. Tiffany, to tell us what you've seen lately, how it's changed for you.
That whole dynamic.
So I've seen a huge change working, going from working years ago in the school system and now being here at the Governor's School.
So I think this generation is doing such a really good job of talking about mental health, making sure that they're taking care of their mental health, seeking assistance, going to therapy, not just going to therapy, but encouraging their friends to go to therapy.
I hear all the time students talking amongst themselves and they'll say things like, "Well, my therapist told me this," and years ago no one wanted anyone to know that they even had a therapist.
So the fact that this generation is so willing to just talk about those things in the same way that we would talk about our physical health is a really great thing to see.
<Brittney Brackett> And that's healthy in itself.
You know, there are jokes we say, "Oh, well, I have a therapist.
"My therapist said this to me."
"And boundaries."
You know, we have all the things that we're exposed to and we're supposed to learn and take in.
So, Tyler, I'm going to chat with you for a second.
As a vocalist, you're serious about your career, your future career.
How does that tie in to your mental health and what you're doing to to stay healthy in that way?
I think it actually plays a pretty big role as a singer, just 'cause my body is my instrument.
So, I constantly have to be taking care of myself and really my mental state, if I am sad or happy, it's going to affect my voice and how well I perform, honestly.
There's a lot to get around, and I think it's really crucial to any musician, but primarily vocalists, too.
<Brittney Brackett> I concur.
You know, you want your career, you want to be happy in your career, and you want to bring your best self.
So speaking of your best self, Miss Sabrina, I'd love to be able to hear from you about what you do on the daily to bring your best self to school, to class, to your daily activities.
What's your mantra?
I read a lot.
I value the time that I spend with my friends.
I'm intentional about who I hang out with, who I listen to, what kind of things I'm intaking.
If I find a show that I might enjoy watching but has kind of bad messaging, I'll not watch it as much.
If I have people who have a lot of negative energy, I won't hang out with them as much because it affects me and my art daily because I have to protect myself as an actor and as any sort of artist, because like Tyler said, my body is my instrument, and so I have to do things daily, like reading, like hanging out with positive people that allow me to do my art in the way that I love.
<Brittney Brackett> You said so much.
I just want to piggyback on some of that because you talked about negative energy.
We've all felt some negative vibes, right, a little bad juju.
So, Jordion, I'm going to take it to you now.
With everything Sabrina said, How do you feel boundaries are important, especially when you're establishing new connections, existing connections.
What does that look like for you?
For me, at least, I talking with my friends, I prefer to have a certain day where I will gladly go downtown with them, or I'll gladly spend the entire day with them.
But as a vocalist, as Tyler is, I try and spend most of my time alone working on my repertoire, even if that's just studying my character, learning the accompaniment, or really just diving into who the character is outside of what I'm trying to portray them as.
<Brittney Brackett> And sometimes people don't even go that deep with a relationship.
They're like, What can this person do for me?
Do I have fun when I'm with them?
Can we have a good time?
<Yeah> And sometimes you really do have to go deeper with what that looks like for you in the long run.
So, Rue, social media, you know, we're talking about these these healthy boundaries, and, you know, what's the difference between toxic and healthy?
Let's talk about the social media mood, okay.
What kind of mood does social media put you in sometimes?
I mean, I use social media just for entertainment most of the time and I feel like if I'm not gaining what I'm looking for, which is just like having fun and having a good laugh, I see stuff that I don't really connect with then I tend to put my phone down or just, you know, hang off social media for a little bit.
<Brittney Brackett> Well, that's good.
You've learned how to channel the bad juju and Use it for, you know, use it for good.
What about you, Cameron?
I know you're, as an administrator, <Yeah> You know, it's a little different for you because you still want to live your life and be who you are, but you have to kind of go back to your career.
How do you balance that?
<Cameron Pratt> Yeah, as far as the use of social media, personally, I use it probably the same way you guys do.
You know, I'm on Instagram, TikTok and things like that, <Hey TikTok> [laughs] it's geared toward I'm in to, you know, I know how it work.
Like for me, we were talking about how do you decompress.
I like to work out.
So a lot of my fee and reels and everything are based off of physical health and things like that.
But from a student standpoint and talking to them, I see how that sometimes has a negative effect.
Young men and young women, see people who are extremely fit and extremely in shape, and they compare that with themselves in their own workout journey and sometimes have a negative effect.
So and I do the same thing, you know, if I'm following with somebody who is unattainable and I won't follow them and I will kind of tailor who I'm watching or what I'm consuming to stuff that's going to be attainable or beneficial to me.
There's no reason for me to consume anything that's going to have a ideal thing I'm not able to attain, or that's going to be a positive benefit to my life.
<Brittney Brackett> So let me go to a statistic from the National Alliance on Mental Illness.
Approximately 7% of children and teens aged 3 to 17 experience anxiety each year, and most of those symptoms develop before the age of 21.
So these are the developmental years, right?
Do you have any advice for how they can weed out what's good and what's bad?
Any of my administrators or, Jordion, yes.
<Jordion Slater> This would probably be an answer that an administrator would give, but, [laughs] it's a day with, you know, Instagram and TikTok, for instance, we're able to, at least from a parent's standpoint, block out what a child's able to see.
And while my parents trust me enough that I'm able to make my own decision, it also comes down to that you have to be able to trust your child, that they are smart enough to know what's good for them and what's not.
But, I mean, again, it also comes down to the parent deciding what's good for them, of course in a parently, manner, not, in a I know what's best kind of manner.
Yeah.
<Brittney Brackett> Right.
Just like that.
They do that with it.
Anybody else want to chime in on that one?
<Cameron Pratt> Yeah.
And from a school administrator perspective, you know, I see students dealing with social media in two aspects, whether it's a mental health crisis or a discipline issue.
And all of it, it's not necessarily the content creators that we don't know, but oftentimes it's the peers that you have on there and what's posted and they're talking about somebody or sharing information.
And a lot of times that's controlling which peers you actually know in real life and choosing to follow them and choosing to not.
There are people who follow someone who they know is going to upset them or know they're going to post something that's going to trigger them in a way and they'll continue to follow them and that's typically where all the issues come in when it comes to confrontation or negative opinions about yourself.
More times than not from what I've seen, is people that we actually know who we follow.
<Brittney Brackett> That's it right there, and that is a great segue into my next question.
Who are some of the people in your life that you model your behaviors after?
Who's somebody that you really think sets a good example for how to set those boundaries?
Not your therapist.
Like, we can't cheat and say therapists, but like, who are these people in your life that you try to model your behavior after?
Anyone?
<Sabrina Michelle Francis> There is a teacher here, Ms. Mangle, Ms.Charnise Mangle.
She is the government teacher, government economics, and she has a very good system of, is she in the space to deal with your question right now?
Is she able to help you with the thing that you're asking her for?
Does the thing that you're asking her for have anything to do with her?
And if it doesn't, then it's not her business and she doesn't need to help you with it.
And I try to model my behavior after her in that way.
<Brittney Brackett> That's impressive.
That's impressive.
I mean, it's always good to have a mentor and it's always good to have these people that you you look up to because that's important.
You know, as we're going through, I say we, as if I'm still [audience laughs] as young as some of you , but you have to have someone that you can look up to for that reason.
And when we're talking about adolescents and we're talking about their positive peer relationships, how do you think they have access to that in their schools and their communities?
Anybody?
<Cameron Pratt> As far as positive relationships, and I like how you mentioned a teacher that you have; I think everyone can pick out at least one person who's had a positive impact or someone that they can model how they want to act, and that's a resource.
But, you know, from the school side, you know, you have your counselors, you have mental health professionals, you have administrators, and you realize, no, that's what we're here for.
You know, we're here to provide some type of benefit and the thing I like to say is know, we as adults have made the mistakes so you don't have to.
So, everything that has happened, I've done it.
I've learned the hard way, and I don't want you to learn that same way, you know.
I went down the road.
You can go down a different one.
Trust me.
You know, I was in the same mindset.
So, that's kind of the biggest thing you can kind of pick up just from an older person or a adult in the building.
And then peers, you know, it's kind of that trust.
Just finding someone who you can confide in and you know, they're not going to share with social media or anyone you don't want to know that personal information so it's twofold.
<Brittney Brackett> I think that's a great place for us to take a pause as we go to our next segment, because I want to get back into it as we go over again to our transition.
But, as we transition from middle school to high school, it can be a challenge, especially if your best friend no longer wants to be your friend.
We'll find out what an unhealthy friendship looks like as we hear the story of Selena and how she overcame.
♪ soft dramatic music ♪ ♪ I had known my best friend practically my whole life, and once we had gone to high school, she decided she wanted new friends, which I was completely okay with.
It was just the way that she had done it was just not in a positive light.
She left me alone at lunch.
She would walk to her classes, you know, with her other friends and leave me alone to walk to my classes.
I would, you know, sit in classes alone that we shared.
She kind of just ditched me without even telling me that she really wanted new friends.
It made me feel a lot of anxiety.
when clients come in needing assistance with toxic relationships, I guide them by empowering them through connection, validation and empowerment.
Sometimes we cope with things that are not quite healthy and positive through avoidance, right?
The way that they avoid speaking up or avoid issues.
In therapy, we improve on why we avoid those things.
What's the worst thing that could possibly happen?
How to decrease those feelings so that we can become more empowered and find our voice.
<Selena Cruz> I even tried to kind of put myself in those friend groups to see if she still wanted to be friends, and it just never worked out because her friends didn't really want me in with them.
I don't think I just fit their stereotypes as the "it" girls.
I guess it's just, I never saw her as that kind of person before, which is why we became friends in the first place.
<Justina Smalls> A healthy relationship is having strong boundaries, respect, loyalty, honesty, accountability, responsibility.
Those are what, that's what a healthy relationship looks like, right.
Versus a negative or a toxic relationship would be walking on eggshells, feeling uncomfortable, having to constantly do things that you don't want to do, always being afraid to advocate for yourself.
If I say no, or if I say how I truly feel, I won't be accepted.
Those those are warning signs of a toxic relationship.
<Sabrina Cruz> Selena did tell me about the distance, but I kind of noticed it as well.
I noticed it was a little bit more severe than I thought.
It was like I could just tell her personality was changing.
She wasn't as happy and just seemed really just gloomy, just not her.
Normally, she's perky and she's always been an overachiever, so just not herself.
<Selena Cruz> I remember one night I ended up just like crying on the floor of my room because it just felt like, you know, what is freshman year at this point?
Like, I don't have my best friend.
I'm not doing good in volleyball.
Like, I don't know what to do.
And I just didn't have anyone to talk to, so I told my mom, I was like, I don't know what to do, Mom.
I think any parent, the first reaction is to say, well, go branch out.
Find some new friends.
Find some other people, and if y'all are meant to be friends, you'll find yourself again, you know, in each other's space, and if not, then you still can be cordial.
And I knew they had sports together, so I knew they were bound to be around each other.
Not wanting her to feel like she had to force herself to be something she wasn't to fit in with a certain crowd.
Just do you.
Be you and genuine people who are like minded will find you?
<Selena Cruz> I ended up overcoming because of my Mom and my family and especially my new friends.
My Mom Especially though because she was there every single step of the way.
<Sabrina Cruz> I do feel like it shaped her in a way that she's more discerning in who she puts into her inner circle just so she can protect herself from, you know, getting hurt in the future.
<Justina Smalls> Be authentic.
Don't try to be anyone else, because it would be a shame for someone to accept you as someone else.
Right.
When you are just enough as is.
<Brittney Brackett> So as Selena was talking about, we want to highlight the signs of an unhealthy relationship.
So your teen's partner is possessive.
Your teen changes their habits.
Your teen constantly checks in.
Your teen's partner undermines their goals.
These are just some of the toxic traits that people can exude.
So, panel, I definitely want to start with my administrators.
Tiffany first.
What are some of the traits that you have seen or had some of your students talk about that you view as unhealthy?
<Tiffany Prasertkul> So when I think of unhealthy relationships in whatever capacity that is, I think of people who are dishonest and unreliable, people who use threats of manipulation to maintain that relationship, and people who aren't able to have open, honest assertive communication that aren't able to compromise people that, when you're in their space, you feel unsafe, whether that's physically, mentally, emotionally or sexually.
To me, that is the first thing that I think about when I think about unhealthy relationships.
<Brittney Brackett> Things to look out for.
And sometimes, unfortunately, they don't, they don't rear their head in the beginning, you know.
That's that beginning stage of trying to woo someone, so to speak.
Right.
What about you, Mr. Pratt?
<Cameron Pratt> Yeah.
You know, one of the most damaging things I typically see is, particularly in teen romantic relationships, is someone who's being possessive or controlling.
Oftentimes, you'll see one person in that couple who is trying to either isolate them from the rest of their friends.
It gets to the point where one person wants to be done and you look at to say, well, I'm the person left.
You know what?
What can you do?
And it is is difficult and that kind of goes back what I meant before was, you know, us as mental health professionals, administrators, teachers and things like that have had a relationship in the past that it took us years sometimes to realize that this friendship or this romantic relationship isn't for us and this person is not going to change.
And I know in high school sometimes it seems short sighted in that, you know, this person is your forever person when you realize at the end of the day is not and, you know, clinging on to someone who is not going to let you be who you are is never going to be positive for you and 9 times out of 10 them promising to change is only just a way to keep you to stay while they continue doing the same behavior.
So, possession, manipulation, all those are the big things.
<Brittney Brackett> And all the things that I hear you saying have to do with communication.
<Yeah> Right.
So what are healthy ways to communicate that don't come across as toxic?
<Rue Pinto> I think, for me, I guess things that kind of eek make me out are when people have a really big lack of honest communication.
So just like not really stating their feelings or even when they do communicate, they're not, maybe listening to what you're putting back and things are kind of just one sided, they're not really open minded.
Very awkward.
<Brittney Brackett> Yeah, the the word codependency comes to mind, right?
Tyler, what does that word mean to you?
Do you, have you had any friends that might have had an issue with codependency in some way in a relationship?
<Tyler Russell> I can't exactly recall a friendship that I've had, but I've definitely witnessed it before.
And it can, it can kind of, it's more detrimental to one side than the other.
It's where the other person maybe wants to hang out all the time or maybe needs that person near them or wants to be their only friend or something to that extent.
And that can be really draining and just, it's a losing battle always.
There's not a balance between, okay, what can I give that will be good in this relationship?
<Brittney Brackett> And you said balance.
I want to go back to the word balance.
Balance is important, okay?
Especially with this school in particular.
You all have lots that you do and that you have to balance.
So what does that look like for you?
What are things that you, your non-negotiables when it comes to staying focused and not getting drawn into the codependency or the toxic traits of other people or their needs?
How does that look for you?
<Rue Pinto> I think for me, kind of having that balance between like my social life, my school life, doing work and all that can be maybe kind of challenging, but it's always putting my priorities first, like what's going to help me in the future instead of maybe what's happening right now.
Like, of course, I always want to have a good time.
I always want to hang out with my friends, you know, do all the fun stuff, but I really want to prioritize the things that I'm looking forward to, all my goals and stuff like that.
<Brittney Brackett> Prioritizing.
So speaking of prioritizing, do we have and maybe not specifically at this school, but I'm thinking, you know, what are some ways that we can prioritize our mental health?
We prioritize going to school, we prioritize being at work on time.
You know, how we dress, what we look like.
what are some ways that we prioritize our mental health.
<Jordion Slater> I can say, at least for this school, we're very fortunate that our wonderful, you know, mental health service that we have, they do offer us a mental health day.
And so if we are having a said crisis or something of importance, we come to this wonderful lady in her office, very small office, but, and we, you know, and if it's concerning enough and she deems fit, we are able to take the day to ourselves to recuperate for the next day because, I mean, we do live away from home here, so it's very draining all by itself, taking out, you know, the other people's perspective and then when you bring in the other people's perspective, we're here and with everybody else, we're way overflowed.
<Brittney Brackett> You know, like I said today, this conversation is so prevalent and even mindfulness, you know.
I've tapped into a lot of mindfulness activities.
What does that look like for you as students?
Do you have time to make time for mindfulness?
<Sabrina Michelle Francis> We do.
I know for drama and vocalists at least we all have Ms. Caldwell, who is our movement instructor, and she also teaches us West African dance and she is big on mental health.
We have Mindfulness Wednesdays.
We sit down and we journal and we answer prompts that she gives us, or we just sit and chat with each other and reconnect with our groups.
And then we also have upstream, which is a service provided to us.
I think throughout the state of South Carolina, it's available for people to use.
They have mindfulness prompts, they have breathing exercises, and students can work for them for the summer and help develop more mindfulness exercises.
So we have a lot of resources here, at least that I think everyone should have.
<Brittney Brackett> Oh, that's excellent.
And I think it helps too, with, you know, if you're feeling homesick.
We talked about you being away from home.
I don't care if you're down the street, you know, you still going to miss your mom, your dad, your auntie, your cousin, your little brother, maybe not the little brother, but you know, you're going to have people that are important to you that you might not see, but that's the beauty of learning about yourself and having those resources is imperative.
So, I'm just, I'm loving this conversation everybody and I'm so proud of the fact that you're interested in tackling mental health.
It is not an easy subject.
And, you know, as I go back to my two vocalists that are sitting near each other, you sing about emotions all the time, right?
You sing in different languages.
You do all these things.
If you're not feeling your tiptop self for whatever reason, how does that affect your work?
[laughs] <Brittney Brackett> Just curious.
<Tyler Russell> It definitely affects, I would say when you're working with other individuals, it's different whenever you're practicing or you're alone, you can kind of, you know where you're at for the day, but working with instructors or if you happen to have a song with another person or a group song, it can kind of make it more challenging to work with just because you're dealing with all of this and you're trying to get work done that you need to get done.
So it can be daunting sometimes, but I know most of our instructors, well, all of our instructors are very open, they're very understanding.
They let you take a minute if you need a minute, you know, they're very understanding.
<Right> <Jordion Slater> And while we're here talking about the mindfulness, we do have one instructor, Dr. Smith, shout out to him, Dr. Smith.
He teaches us well, besides that, he takes part in Kung Fu or some kind of martial arts, and within that, he takes the things that he's learning and he applies that to our mindfulness that will happen every now and then when we need it.
<Excellent> Yeah.
So, I mean, a lot of our staff, they do care about our mental well-being and from that our mindfulness.
<Brittney Brackett> I'm loving, I'm loving the fact that the staff takes time and is cognizant of what you need outside of your talents and your aspirations.
That's really, really important to be in tune.
And speaking of being in tune, I just want to know, as you're thinking, what advice you would give to friends of yours that might, my adults too, that might be having a tough time with either mindfulness or dealing with some mental health issues, what advice would you give to them to be positive and to just continue down that right path?
<Tyler Russell> One thing I always try to, like, encourage my friends to do is to always do some kind of like physical activity or just some kind of break, whether it's going for a walk or working out or going to play volleyball, something like that always gets the dopamine flowing and it just it makes it clear your mind is very nice.
<Brittney Brackett> It's very nice; doing an ad for this.
Very nice to go outside.
Yes.
Jordan, you have, no?
Sabrina?
One piece of advice I always love to give my friends is thinking about it in a bigger picture.
Is it going to affect you in 5 minutes?
Is it going to affect you in five days?
In five months, five years?
Is this something that you're going to think about farther down the road after you finish all of these things?
Is it really going to affect you that much?
And just allowing them to take that time in the moment, of course, to feel your emotions and feel them, but know if it's going to affect you down the road?
<Brittney Brackett> I love it.
I love it.
And how you articulate it is perfect for my next little segue.
You know, we have Safe Space.
That is the name of the show.
So I want to know as I go down the line of the panel, what is your safe space?
What is the place that you go to, whether in your mind, whether you know, it's a special person, a phone call, a person that's a phone call away?
Who or what is your safe space?
I'll start with.
You.
<Cameron Pratt> Yeah.
So, you know, there is a space independently and I also have a person.
So for me in the gym, that's my time.
I work out.
I clear my head and I do that everyday before I go to work.
At least most days before I go to work.
But of course I have my wife.
So whether that's after school, to be honest, sometimes during the middle of the school day I take the time to call and talk through something because my role, I don't necessarily have the luxury of, you know, having my mood or any mental health thing affect my my work.
People who I'm working with, I'm a student, so I'm working with dealing with enough, what I have going on should not affect them or how I treat them or how I decide a consequence for discipline.
So I have to take that time to call somebody.
You know, I have mental health just like everybody else.
But having my wife, someone who I can call in the middle of the day is is important.
<Brittney Brackett> I love it!
So sweet!
What about you, Rue?
I think it's very important to emphasize in certain situations when you need that individual time or time with a person who you know is going to support you and take care of your emotions.
So I guess for me individually, I like to spend time outside just, you know, being able to think thoroughly about whatever situation is going on.
And then when I need comfort from other people, I have like my mom, who can be very comforting and helpful in any situation and very supportive and definitely bring me up.
And I Have tons of friends here and loving people who will, you know, support me in any situation.
<Brittney Brackett> Don't make me cry.
It's not fair.
It's too early.
[laughs] Tyler <Tyler Russell> Kind of piggybacking what off you were saying I really enjoy the gym.
That's my time at the end of the day, get everything straight.
I also really love playing guitar.
So, wherever I can just unwind and I was always a big, my parents didn't raise me on like video games or anything or didn't give me many devices, so music was kind of my outlet.
That was the thing I did because there were no like, screens or like a ton of stuff.
<Brittney Brackett> There was no Minecraft back then.
<Tyler Russell> Yeah, Yeah, exactly.
So I just, I like to unwind and play through songs, sing a little bit.
It's just relaxing to me.
<Brittney Brackett> Yeah.
What about you, Jordion?
<Jordion Slater> Not to beat the same bush over and over again, but I would say it depends on what, you know, situation I'm going through.
As I've grown older, I've learned about myself that I love just sitting down at the piano and just playing however I feel.
I do have this one song that I'm learning and I, I sit down, of course, this is usually during my rehearsal time, but I sit down, I just play it and it comes out in a different color every day that I play it because of how I'm feeling that day.
So, that's my safe space.
<Brittney Brackett> Quickly, ladies, give me your safe space.
My safe space is usually just time by myself, so having lunch blocked off for me every day at the same time.
I run swamp rabbit, I go to the gym by myself.
I don't talk to people.
My headphones are in.
When, you know, somebody says, Hey, we need to meet with you.
Can we do it now?
No, we can't.
That's my hard boundary.
Because if you need me here and you need me to be healthy for our students, then I have to be healthy for myself.
And so that is my biggest safe space.
Anyone who knows me knows that I always carry a coloring book and colored pencils in my bag all the time.
So whenever I'm feeling stressed or I just need a second away, I will pull out my coloring book.
I'll go to the page I'm coloring at the time and I'll just color and I love it.
<Brittney Brackett> Oh, coloring is it.
Grounding is my thing, by the way.
Grounding is my jam.
But as we move further in the segment, let's take a look at the effect that a negative social media influence can have on relationships through Facebook, Instagram, I.G., TikTok, some social media influencers can be just as detrimental to young person's mental health as a family member or the friend next door.
Toxicity is something that's destroying of whatever the host is and for toxicity in my generation or in younger kids, I absolutely think that social media contributes to that because you see peer pressure and everything, in girls going on trips or having skin care or buying the latest Stanley or whatever it is.
You see that need to be like everybody else and have all of the perfect things that people think make your life special or unique.
It's just a whole different world now.
It's a lot more consuming.
Influencers didn't really exist when I was a teenager, and so seeing people literally making money off of their life and then making money off of the things that they do and how good their life is and how beautiful they are and how well they can sing.
And the power of comparison is a lot stronger.
<Hensley Carroll> I recently read a statistic that nowadays, if you were to ask a group of children the same age what they wanted to be when they grow up.
98 percent of them would say an influencer, which is kind of terrifying.
<Sky Wallace> And so we see what people are trying to find and they're trying to find fulfillment in social media and they're trying to find satisfaction and they're trying to find love in how much people like their photos or who likes their TikTok or their dance.
They're just seeking for approval and affirmation from others rather than knowing their worth and knowing their purpose outside of social media or outside of what the world tells them.
And so they just are constantly getting told lies by the world that just really wants their attention and wants their money.
<Hensley Carroll> It's important to reach out to girls my own age.
Honestly, you never know what that person's going to be going through and you never know what they're going to be doing with their social media or the things that they're seeing or hearing from other people.
<Sky Wallace> Hensley has a passion to serve others and to help others, and just like seeing how much she pours out into her community, her local community, and just fighting hunger, fighting poverty, and she uses her influence and gifts for the better.
And she just has a huge gift of service.
<Hensley Carroll> Maybe me teaching a teenage girl about my age, about community service who's never done community service before in her life will truly change her outlook on life.
I know it certainly did with me.
Community service isn't about me just doing an action.
It's about truly reaching those people.
So maybe one day I will be the girl who is, that's another person's aha moment saying, Hey, would you like to come and feed people struggling with homelessness with me this week?
And then they say, sure.
And that gets them into a big life of community service and really realizing how much impact a teenager can make.
<Sky Wallace> So I think for people like Hensley, who are young and they are the next generation and they're role models and examples, I would say to continue to call them higher into being an example and to be different.
And when you know who you are and know your value, it's a great example for those who don't.
<Hensley Carroll> I feel that having a positive mentor when you're in a more negative place in life can be really, really impactful because they're always going to be there to support you, even though they're not at my house, changing the things that are making me upset or whatever it is, they're just saying, hey, I'm there for you.
I'm not going to walk away from you if something bad happens.
You know that you can trust me with anything.
And things like that just, they relieve so much of a burden because you don't even realize how much you're holding on to until you can let it go with someone that you trust, that you look up to.
<Sky Wallace> For us to ignore or withdraw from the next generation because we don't understand or we can't relate to them or, you know, we're afraid of what they're doing or what steps are walking, and then we're failing them.
And to walk down with them and to walk alongside them could change their life.
And as they're being molded, you know, they're middle school high schoolers, they're trying to figure out who they are.
And if they only have their peers or social media telling them who they are, then they'll just be lied to.
And so it's so important for mentors who are young, old, it doesn't matter, but those who truly know what it means to live life abundantly, they need to get out there and tell these students how much they are worth, and they'll know that they're loved.
And that changes people.
<Brittney Brackett> So as we move on, we'd love to be able to have some questions from our audience.
Tell us your name and your question.
Hello, my name is Gabriel Tiborteau.
So and my question is, you know, in the topic of safe space, how do you find that safe space if you don't have one?
You know.
<great question> Yes.
So if you don't already have a safe space, that's going to require a lot of internal work and a lot of self-awareness.
And the best place to start that would be in therapy.
You're therapy can assist you in getting to a point where you can begin to find a safe space outside of the therapy room.
And in the meantime, the therapy room can be your safe space.
I mean, I think it's just like finding what you enjoy.
Really being like what Ms. Tiffany was saying, like really being aware about what you enjoy and what makes you happy and leaning into that.
<Brittney Brackett> Alright.
So we'd love to have some more questions from the audience.
Hello.
My name is Jakai Na'Asia Norfleet.
I am a drama student at the Governor's School, senior drama student.
With how the world is right now with all the police brutality and is the racial injustice with being at the Governor's School and having such a hard work load and having to be an artist, and you have to be in the mind of, for example, me being an actor, I have to be in the mind of the character and the stakes and all that jazz.
But sometimes the character is so close to what I'm living as a person of color.
So how do you guys, especially you know, being an actor and being a musician and being a <vocalist?> No.
You play an instrument.
So.
Yes.
[laughs] So yes.
Being an artist, how do you not let what's going on on the outside affect what you're doing in the Governor's School in terms of your arts, being a person of color and how the world is right now?
For me specifically, I, I like to acknowledge what's happening in my repertoire.
I like to make it aware that I'm trying to convey that that's what my character is going through.
But I also I try my hardest not to make that who I am, which is so hard for, you know, actors and musicians themself not to become their character.
And I try to think and imagine of where we've come from, how far we've come, and the amazing things that I have now that people of 50 years ago, 100 years ago, would not have today being here on this campus right now talking to you is an amazing opportunity.
<Sabrina Michelle Francis>Piggybacking off of what Jordion said, I, I don't not let it affect me.
I again, I acknowledge it and I do intake it into my work and I let it become a part of my monologue repertoire.
I let it affect how I choose songs, how choose my monologues, how I choose my scenes.
And it's really just a matter of what stories I want to tell and what stories are available for me to tell at the time, because there was a time where there were no Black playwrights and there were no Black songwriters for artists of color to choose repertoire material from.
And so I count myself lucky to be able to tell those stories.
And if it's difficult for me, then that's just something that I'm going to work harder to portray instead of starving audiences from seeing that kind of story.
<Brittney Brackett> Wow!
That's a whole artistic conversation up here.
Lovely.
I do want to take it back to the building healthy relationships, too because, you know, without the healthy relationships, you're not going to be able to do anything successfully because you're going to work with all kinds of people in your career, your friends, your peers, all the things.
Right?
So who do you all lean on?
I want to hear from somebody.
Who do you lean on to be able to stay in that positive frame of mind?
Tell us your name.
Hi, my name is Jasmine Myers.
I'm a senior vocalist, and normally who I rely on a lot is my twin sister.
She is the exact opposite of me, but she always gives me the greatest advice and she always knows like how to, what to say to me and how to get me through things.
And also another part of my family is my older sister.
She also goes through the same things as me and she knows what what to do in my situation because like I said, she's been through what I've been and she can do more for me than what she could do for herself at the time and for me to have a better life.
<Brittney Brackett> There's something about that empathy.
Like if you've already been through something, you know what it feels like to hurt, you know, what it feels like to be unsuccessful or, you know, not get something that you're wanting in the moment and how to coach somebody through it.
So it's important to have those people on deck, right?
Anybody else have anything?
Yes.
Hi, I'm Angel Watson.
I'm a drama junior.
I'm a very spiritual person.
So I think one thing that I lean on is definitely prayer to remind of who I am and my purpose and that it's all going to fall according to plan, even if, you know, it doesn't seem like it in this moment.
But I think peer wise also lean on different.
People for different situations.
Not everyone serves the same purpose in my life.
So different situations.
I may go to this person or if I'm trying to get a laugh, I may go to this person, but they all work together, you know, to make me feel not whole, but also to get me in a better space mentally.
But I.
Definitely do.
Lean on prayer.
Most definitely.
Spiritually.
<Brittney Brackett> They all work together for the good.
<Yes, ma'am.> <Yes, ma'am.> Oh, I just got a Yes, ma'am.
[laughs] Oh, Oh!
So I'm loving these comments.
This is something that is serious.
You know, you all are at a school that is so focused and so intentional, but you, too, have to be intentional about internally how you feel to be able to exude all of these talents and gifts that you have.
So, you know, I've worked in the arts for a long time, and mental health has been huge for me.
And I think that it has truly changed my life to have access to people that care about you.
So aside from your parents and your friends, who else do you think cares about you?
Right?
It's easy to say your friends and your mom or your dad because they birth you.
But who else do you think really cares about you?
Yeah.
I'm Maddie Thompson.
I'm a senior creative writer here at the Governor's School, and I think one of the true benefits of this school is the relationships that you can build with your teachers, not only in an academic setting, but in a personal setting where if you have a problem, you can come to them and say, hey, I'm struggling at this current moment.
So a lot of my teachers here, I can really be honest.
With and talk.
About my mental health and be real with and say, this is what I'm struggling with.
Can I get some help here?
<Brittney Brackett> Alright.
So thank you all, audience, so much for those interesting questions.
It's nice to have another point of view.
I'm going to cross back over to my panelists self awareness.
I heard somebody in the audience go hmm.
That is something that some people just aren't aware of.
So what is it going to take, you think, just a piece of advice for those folks that are learning about what mental health means to them?
What are some tips for self awareness?
<Cameron Pratt> You know, even though it's about your self and understanding, you know, when you are dealing with something, I think the biggest thing is to have a friend that's going To be honest with you.
It's hard for us to see the negatives in our self or we just don't simply want to see it.
But if they're friends can be brutally honest with you, they'll be able to tell you, this that you have is negative or toxic and you're self-aware enough or care about self improvement enough, know you will work to improve that that trait of yourself.
<That's good.> <That's good.> <Tiffany Prasertkul> I think self awareness is really important as we're talking about boundaries and relationships, because we have to do a lot of internal work and be really self aware to recognize our own toxic behavior.
So if we are talking about relationships, we have to realize that we also bring some toxic behavior to that relationship.
And it may not look and feel the same as whoever you're engaging with.
But if we're paying attention to ourselves, we may realize that, is this a pattern of behavior for us?
Is this a pattern of relationships?
Am I always drawn to the same kinds of people in terms of who I date?
I'm always drawn to the same types of friendships.
Or is this just a one off relationship where it is toxic because the other person is unhealthy?
And again, that takes internal work because we have to kind of look at what are our childhood experiences, what our family relationships, what our life experiences that are impacting these relationships and drawing us to these specific people.
<Brittney Brackett> Right?
These behaviors, you know, is there a pattern?
What do we see?
How do we nurture something that we're missing?
Very good.
Anyone else?
Tyler <Tyler Russell> I think nowadays it's so easy to deflect and blame it on something else rather than looking at yourself and being self aware.
So for that fact, I think we really need to take a second before anything happens and just look at, okay, this is the situation, is this, do I have a part in this?
<Brittney Brackett> Right, Right.
It's not me, it's you, Tyler.
I'm deflecting right now.
Sabrina.
<Sabrina Michelle Francis> I agree with what Tiffany was saying.
There's something called a love map in everyone.
There's this belief that the way that you treat people and the way that you interact with love is based off of your parents and how their parents treated them and how their parents treated them.
And so I think there is, everyone has a spot on a love map.
And I personally believe that everyone is a mosaic of everyone that they've ever met because everyone leaves a little piece of themselves on you.
And so I think being very intentional about the people that you're around and what you intake and what becomes a part of you is something that is very helpful to become self aware.
<Brittney Brackett> Yes, mosaic like a stained glass window, right, of all these emotions.
I love it.
I love it As we move on.
SCETV Save Space continues to broaden its reach throughout communities across the state.
We had a chance to join other organizations at Mental Health Advocacy Day at the State House to network and share information, as well as spread the powerful and positive message that mental health matters.
Thank y'all for braving the elements today of rain to be here.
But, you know, I guess it's relative to the standpoint that day in and day out, can be a very cloudy and disheartening day.
And it's important for us to weather the storms, whatever the storms of life provide for us.
When I woke up this morning, I said it's a great day to advocate.
I see so many partners out here today that you need to be sharing with each other, Work In Progress, NAMI all over the state coming here today.
Your presence here shows that you care.
Mental health is something that we don't talk about enough, something we need to be talking about all the time.
It is not a crime to be mentally ill, is not a crime to be in a mental crisis.
You don't need to be in jail.
You need help.
SCETV Safe Space attended The South Carolina Mental Health Advocacy Day at the South Carolina Statehouse, and we went to meet legislators and senators and mental health advocacy leaders and organizers so that we could be a part of the movement, show that we're there to support.
We're there to provide whatever help we can to organizations that are already tackling the very important cause of reducing mental health stigma and spreading prevention and awareness and spread our information across the state of South Carolina.
We're in the middle of a mental health crisis right now.
It's caused by a number of things.
One of the not the least of which is the pandemic, and particularly for our youth.
The youth mental health numbers have just gone out the roof.
For those ages 10 to 18, suicide is the number two cause of death in our state.
And it's just unbelievable that so many people are in despair and can't get the help that they need.
And that's one of the things that we try to do.
As a student, we work a social media campaign and our campaign is to support students and being there for other students and their mental health.
So it's important that we educate other students to talk to your friends, see how they're doing, check in with people and really see how, you know, their mental health is.
We can no longer cover this topic and keep it under the kitchen table.
We got to talk about it out loud.
We have to bring it on top of the kitchen table and making it a part of the.
Discussion so that our children know that they can get help and they can get help early to help them be successful as adults.
<Desiree Cheeks> ETV Safe Space is specifically targeting our young folks because when we started this initiative, we were hearing that a lot of the young folks that we talked to felt like they didn't have a place to go, that they weren't being listened to, so they didn't know where to go.
And so we decided that it was good for our agency's platform to facilitate that conversation and help them start that conversation with their loved ones, help them find a place to go that had the resources to help them and find a place that would listen to them.
That's what they needed most and we're trying to connect them with those places because we have such a wide platform and such a large reach across the state.
Who better to help with this than an agency that is meant to serve as the state?
<Brittney Brackett> Alright.
So as we come back, again, I am so grateful to be able to have you all as our panelists for today.
And I'd love to hear any last comments that you have for our audience.
<Cameron Pratt> Yeah, I just want to wrap up by saying, while you guys are in high school and you have the opportunity to seek, you know, mental health professionals, counselors free of charge, you know, take advantage of that, seek that out.
Oftentimes people wait till it's too late or you're in serious, serious crisis mode before you seek somebody out.
This is what we're for.
So seek someone out at the beginning.
Hopefully we can get that resolved before it becomes a legitimate or a more serious crisis.
So take advantage of that.
<Great note> <Tiffany Prasertkul>I would just say if we're kind of ending the whole thing, talking about relationships, just encouraging you all to be careful who you choose to be in your life.
Be careful of who you choose to have access to you.
It sounds harsh, but not everyone deserves access to us.
And so as we're picking the people that are going to be significant in our lives, picking people that are going to be your biggest support and your biggest hype man, but also your biggest accountability partner.
<Brittney Brackett> Dropped the mic on That, Ms. Tiffany.
That was perfect.
Thank you so much.
Guests, for our our work today and sharing your experiences.
For more stories and details on the stories you've just seen, do visit our website at scetv.org/safespace And don't forget to follow us on social media at the handles below.
From all of us here at SCETV Safe Space, I'm Brittany Brackett.
Goodnight and thank you so much for watching.
[crowd applause] ♪ closing music ♪ Closed Captions by SCETV Media Operations ♪ ♪ ♪ ♪ ♪ ♪ ♪ ♪
SCETV Specials is a local public television program presented by SCETV
Support for this program is provided by The ETV Endowment of South Carolina.